Of singing abilities and upside-down guitars

I have been playing for this artist program for about a month now. So far, it has been a rather interesting yet fulfilling experience. Herein lies my encounters:

1) GASP! Female Bassist! vs Ooooh...female bassist *wink wink*

During rehearsals and performances, I have met people whose eyeballs almost dropped on the floor because they had seen a female bassist. One of my favorite Kenyan bassists, Haron Waceke of Sarabi band, *scream*, popped his head in on one of our rehearsals once, and appeared to almost lose his eyeballs.

Haron Waceke in action

On the other hand, there are those who's appreciation appears to be motivated by ulterior desires. They seem uninterested in whether or not I actually do have any bass playing abilities. I'm a female, holding a guitar. That's enough.

2) Too much testosterone!!!

In a group of at least 15 people, only two of us are female. The rest are a bunch of mostly older, dread-headed, high men, who use ridiculous lines like "if I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?" Slaps forehead. Whomever this lad has successfully picked up using that line, I would like to meet so that I can give her a thorough beating for almost destroying the female race.

3) Do you sing?

Initially, I didn't have a problem with this question. But now, I don't know if I should be offended by it. I have never heard my fellow male instrumentalists being asked if they could sing.

*to male instrumentalist*: Oh, you're a guitarist? That is great!

*to me*: Oh, you're a guitarist/pianist/violinist/saxophonist-to-be? That's lovely. But CAN you sing?

It is as if to suggest that because I'm female, I have to qualify my credibility as a musician by being a singer. Slaps forehead. For this reason, I have refused to sing. I believe Mariah Carey ain't got nothing on me, but I refuse to sing, because I can be a good enough musician as an instrumentalist. (NB: I may have exaggerated a bit on the Mariah story)

4) Compliments. Real or not?

There are two lots of people who's opinions I value most on my bass sound: drummers and people I believe to be good musicians. So, other than my drummer's compliments on my touch, I have found it rather difficult to be able to tell whether or not a compliment is genuine, especially from the men. Does my playing actually sound good, or does it sound good...for a female?

Quality music is really important for me. So in as much as looking cute in heels and a bass guitar on hand, I'd rather play amazing licks and look as constipated as Rhonda Smith looks here...

....than play crap and look as good as this --> Fake guitarist.

5) Free Lessons? Yes please!

Recently, my lead guitarist asked me why I have never gotten lessons on bass. I had no proper response. I had never thought about that before, I just happened on bass. Since being a bassist was nowhere in my life's plans, I never actually considered getting bass guitar lessons. Because my bass experience is as a result of listening to my favorite basslines and trying to emulate them, I admit that my own technique may be a bit wanting. The bright side about my experience is that I meet all these male instrumentalists who want to give me free bass lessons. I kid you not, I have also met singers who  have sung to me how to play a bassline.