Of Romanced Guitars and Festivals

This past weekend, after getting rained on, driving past a fatal accident, sleeping at 5 a.m after an event, waking up late, having no shower or make-up on, getting upset at Mr Man, my guitar tuner developing epilepsy and *gasp* missing sound check, I performed at my first festival, and what I believe was the biggest stage I've ever played on. This was the most terrifying experience I have ever had, but I'm glad I faced it. Firstly, I was informed that I would be playing at the event five days before the event. There's nothing I dislike more than performing when I have not had adequate preparation. Secondly, I feel that the band I was playing with still has a lot of growing and self-definition to do. Thirdly and biggest of all, the line-up of artists consisted of people I highly admire and would never ever have imagined sharing a stage with one day. I've made it. I should now retire :) (Just kidding, I will never reach a point where I think I am successful enough to relax. Unless I'll be 110 years old. Then I will shamelessly sleep in the afternoon and then go to Zanzibar.)

One of the main reasons I was mortified about playing at the Utam Festival was because it was owned by one friend, and very amazing artist named Fadhilee Itulya. The first time I saw him, I had arrived the studio early for my band rehearsals, and he was lost in his own world, playing a very beautiful guitar. I was amazed at how he was numb to his environment and just focused on his guitar, like he was romancing her. Anyone that passionate must be a genius, I thought to myself. The second time I saw him, he was performing, and he purposefully untuned one of his guitar strings to get a special sound. I have also had the honor of playing under his direction in the church band, so I had gotten to know his musical brain quite a bit, and thus and such, developed admiration for his music. With the profound admiration came profound feelings of intimidation about my own ability. I was so intimidated, that when he asked me to Facebook him, I first went and deleted all my performance posts and pictures and left zero hint of my musical past life. I also vowed that he would never see me performing aside from church - probably not the smartest of attempts given our tiny circle of musicians in Kenya. The reason I attempted to give him the perception that I don't exist as a musician, was because I was afraid that he would have expectations about my ability and would end up being disappointed. I am sure he really doesn't care whether or not I'm a good musician, but alas, I'm a woman. I'm allowed to make conclusions in my head :) So yes, today he was going to hear me play *clutters teeth*. Aside from Fadhilee, there were quite a number of great musicians in the audience. Being an instrumentalist who judges other instrumentalists' techniques at concerts, I was sure mine was also being judged *clutters teeth and violently shivers*.

Anyway, I met some of my musician friends backstage who hugged me and assured me it will go well. The audience seemed to love our performance and after the performance, I received positive feedback from my fellow instrumentalist buddies, saying that my grooving style has improved. Yaaay to added hours of practice. Among the positive "feedbackers" were the two Sams that I had said are among my top Kenyan bassists (mentioned here --> Another Sam: Another lesson on matters of the heart ). Oh, and Fadhilee did not judge me. Well, at least not overtly. The highlight of the show was a particular bassist who played his guitar held upside-down. Nope, it was not left handed. It was legitimately upside-down. Not only that, but his groove, his touch, his performance and everything was just amazing. This inspired me to challenge myself even more. So I'd say, this was quite an amazing experience. See Mr Upside-Down Bass during soundcheck below:

P.S. I was trying to figure out what he was playing, hence the side profile. I am still perfecting the art of taking a video while doing a hand-stand.

Chronicles Continued...

So, ladies and gentlemen, I am back. Quite a lot has happened in my bass life in these last three months. I thought that the last time I went on a journey of musical self-discovery I had found all the answers to what I needed, but alas, it was not such. I realized that growth and learning is a never-ending process, and just as one enjoys every stage of their child's life, so shall I enjoy every stage of my growth and learning experience.

If I could describe the growth process that took place in the last three months, I would publish three novels and a PhD thesis. But here is an extremely summarized version (even though it doesn't look like it):

• I had an experience that I still don't quite understand whether was positive or negative. Either way, I am grateful because it left a positive impact in my life. My musical soulmate and I visited a studio that was the best studio I have ever visited in my life. I met some highly creative people that inspired me, yet at the same time intimidated me. Long story short, before I go on a philosophical analysis, the studio session did not go as well as we had hoped, and we left without a recording. Let's just say, the feeling of failure, especially when you know where you're supposed to be, is not particularly the best feeling in the world. Ignorance really is bliss.

• Since my friend pointed out that I should learn how to play drums to get over my "thing" for drummers, I ended up umm, falling for, umm, a nice guy who happens to be a drummer. So I am now in a committed relationship with said drummer. In my defense, his game was pretty tight. It was also quite fresh, especially after being hit on by guys like:

It also so happens that at the time we started dating, I did not have a permanent drummer to rehearse with, and he needed a bassist. So, bam. One thing I have taken from this relationship is the art of commitment. Yes, commitment is an art. In the past, if I disliked something, I found it easier to just run away. The band that I currently play for most frequently happens to be his band. Because I felt that we do not have the same visions, I wanted to quit after 2 days. However, because I have now learnt that some things are bigger than my feelings, I stayed. Because I have been playing with the same drummer for some time, love aside, I feel that my sense of rhythm has become much better. Also, because I'm in a generally more positive mood, I find that I'm able to play and write better.

• I am in love with the brain of the guitarist who plays in Mr Man's band. Sometimes I get the impression that he doesn't quite like me, and that can be a bit uncomfortable because, you know, you have to be in good terms with people you play with in order to create good music. That aside, I am so in love with his brain, that if  Mr Man had not existed, I would probably have developed a crush on him. *Black American Accent* ooooooohhh Scandalooooouus!*snaps finger* He is a Med. student and has some certain depth about him. His intense passion and out-of-the-box thinking reminded me why I loved music to begin with, and playing with him has taught me the joy of being unconventional in your playing. It has given me a certain type of freedom.

• Meeting people who've met a female bassist for the first time is still quite, umm, entertaining. I meet people who get thoroughly excited at my basslines. Even though I know it's not much, I have to say this gives me quite a boost of confidence and makes my playing better. On the other hand, there's a bunch that give me the urge to toss my bass guitar at them. And maybe a brick. And a chair. Some encounters I've had:
• "Pretend you're playing" *snaps photos*
• "You don't even have to play, just holding it is enough"
• *random chap walks in during rehearsal break as I'm still holding my bass* "Gasp! Is it working??"
• "Are you good?" (because I'm going to say I suck to someone I've just met?? Child, please.)
• He(it's almost always a "he"): Will you perform this Saturday? Me: Yeah, I'll play for most of the artists. He: Are you that good?  Me: *slaps forehead* 
• *expecting me to teach him in 5 minutes* "show me how to play bass". Me: You need some basic theory He: No, just teach me now (Since I'm a female, it must be nothing? *Korean voice* Aigooooo.)
• "It's easy. I'll learn how to play it instead of the other instruments. Thanks, You've inspired me." Coming from a non-instrumentalist. Kindly note, I play other instruments, so I reckon I'd know what's "easy"?

I could go on and on with such comments, where the person may not have malicious intention, but come off as quite condescending. But here's to more bass growth and an enjoyable journey! :)