Day 1 - The Embarkment

In the last couple of months, some rather life-changing events have happened. The biggest event was the death and burial of my dear Grandma. A few weeks after her death, I turned a year older. I never wanted to celebrate, as my heart was laden with grief. On my birthday last year, my Grandma sung "Happy Birthday" over the phone. The thought of never hearing her voice again, the sadness of losing someone so close and the thought of having to face the world, all seemed unbearable. I retreated into fetal position, as I, quite hopefully, awaited my turn.

Suddenly, some light from the end of tunnel shone through, and like a baby eager to know the ways of the world, I reached out and felt a sense of freshness. My Grandma finished her race and left nothing unsaid. She was renewed to a fresh beginning, closer to God.  Her promotion to glory, and my birthday, both symbolized the end of one thing and the beginning of another. With this, I embark on my journey.

I am an instrumentalist, and last year I started being more involved in the music industry, with a focus on bass guitar. Throughout the last years, I had always been self-conscious and I believe that this, as a result, affected how I performed. My former piano teacher pointed this out when he left the room as I practiced, and later came back and commented on the difference in quality of my playing when there are people in the room and without. He noted that I would play much better around people I'm comfortable with and have known, than around other people, and even better when alone. He always told me that he knows and understands that my playing abilities are much higher than that shown on the piano exam report card. However, as I have recently come to learn, out here in the industry, no one cares to understand; you're either capable or not.

It is commonly said that how you perceive and portray yourself, is how others are going to perceive and portray you. Despite certificates of excellence and merits in music, I perceived myself to be an inadequate musician. I have had people telling me to not try a song, because they consider it beyond me. Even after going ahead to play the song perfectly, much to their shock, they would still question my abilities. In my eyes, I lacked ability, therefore in theirs, I lacked ability. As a fairly new bass guitarist who has never received formal training on bass, I understand that I still have a lot of work to do and I'm very open to constructive criticism. However, such comments are restricting and imply that there is no room for me to expand my abilities.

With the new life, new confidence and new perspective, I will take the challenge. It is hereby my goal, to not only be one of the very rare local female bassists, but among the top bassists worldwide. Not only to prove to the world, but to myself, that I am adequate and to document my growth. This is the embarkment. This is my Bass Chronicles.